My fiance's ex is having MY dream weddingOk, so you’re probably going to think that I’m stupid and petty, but here goes…

My boyfriends ex was his only other serious girlfriend and they dated for almost 3 years. They don’t see each other anymore but they have a number of friends in common (went to the same high school and university..) It seemed like her and my fiance did things kind of on the same timeline, which wireds me out a little bit. After they broke up, they both started dating someone else at around the same time, both moved in with that person around the same time, and they both got engaged around the same time.. Well whatever, a little weird, but oh well.

Well, we’re in the midst of planning our wedding, figuring out where, who caters etc. I was being nosey and looked at her facebook page and saw that there was a wedding website listed. I looked at it… and she not only was having her ceremony in the EXACT location that I had dreamed of having my wedding since I was a little girl (this is saying a lot, because I was not very into weddings) but she is also having her reception in the EXACT same restaurant that we were thinking about having cater our wedding. We had our first date in that restaurant so it has sentimental value… its very unique so its a HUGE coincidence that they would choose that.

And, yeah. I’m kind of jealous. Because she’s basically having my dream wedding (also, her wedding is smaller and we’re having a bigger, more expensive wedding b/c that’s what my fiance wants) and now if we do any of those elements it will seem like we’re copying her. (like I said, these are very unique places and we have mutual friends, it would be impossible not to notice). So its like she got to it first.

I know its not her fault, but damn. I’m stressing out about planning this perfect thing that will please my fiance and our families and not break the bank and she’s going to have this perfect wedding. I literally started crying as I was reading the website because I was so jealous of her wedding. It was exactly what I wanted 🙁

Any kind words of encouragement? I know its mainly stress (and that time of the month when everything makes me cry..) but this was kind of a blow. I just feel so discouraged and defeated.

You’ve got to admit that would be awkward to have the same wedding as your ex… And yes, these venues are in fact unique to weddings. Especially the restaurant which is a tiny pizza place, I’ve never heard of ANYONE using it for a wedding. The ceremony location? Sure, its been done. Its not common, but they do events occasionally. Its the restaurant that was the real kicker, especially because that’s where me and my fiance had our first date. It had sentimental value. I’m not saying that NO ONE should ever have the same wedding as me, I’m saying that to have the same wedding as an ex would be awkward as hell and she chose my two favorite ideas.

And also, I’m glad that I snooped. If I hadn’t we might have ended up accidentally having the same wedding. I’m glad I found out sooner rather than later before any deposits were put down.

And now you see what happens when you place you nose into someone else’s business!! In fact, weddings are a HUGE business in the USA to the tune of billions of dollars. It makes sense to me that businesses are dedicate to weddings and people use those business for that purpose and since the scenario repeats itself thousands of times each day, each week, each month at these locations it follows, by conclusive and logical thinking, the many weddings are from similar to identical in nature. Three years ago I went to a wedding on the east coast and that day there were two wedding at the same time. If I looked up the definition of jealousy it would be feelings for something that you do not have. Since you do have a wedding I fail to understand your feelings. Envy? Resentment? Anger? Please allow this other woman to have her dream wedding and you have your dream wedding separately. OK? Comparing your life with the life of any other person is one sure path to aggravation as you now have experienced. Focus on your life and your husband to be and your wedding with family and friends and the joy this marriage shall create in your life. To feel stress and to be discouraged and defeated only reveals your immaturity and pettiness on this subject. If need be please share your feelings with a therapist that can provide more detailed insight tailored to your situation. Otherwise, start looking at your own plans and enjoying the process. OK? BEst wishes and good luck with the wedding and the marriage. Two years ago I attended the wedding of a dear friend who got married at the age of 84! His wife of over 50 years had died five years prior. He managed to find love again. It was a super special wedding for all his and her family and friends. Enjoy!!

Why oh why do you girls think your wedding is unique? Why do you have to turn it into a competition?

Do you realize than by YOUR reasoning everyone using those venues is having your ‘dream’ wedding…there is no copying bullshit except in your imagination! I betcha that other brides have had the same d@mn wedding and they certainly were not being ‘copy-cats’……

And the silliest thing about it is….you have only THOUGHT about using those places…you haven’t actually gone to contract and plunked any cash money down on them.

You need to knock it off and refocus…it’s NOT about the fripperies, it’s about getting married.

The key that will make your wedding unique and beautiful is that it is you and your groom getting married. Not the decorations or the location, but you and your man. Focus on that, OK, and the rest will fall into place.

Just because the ceremony and reception location are the same doesn’t mean the wedding will feel the same. That’s like saying just because Dali took a blank canvas and painted it his painting is the same as da Vinci because he also started out with a blank canvas.

So, stop focusing on what she’s doing and plan the wedding that you and your sweetie want and enjoy it, OK? And even if you have mutual friends who are going to be at both weddings I assure your wedding will be special to them.

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